#& most of my friends are occupied enough in their lives they arent reaching out to me

[leori-the-unlearned]

i make too many references and jokes and in-knowledges for myself and never put it out for the chance someone else could love them. i write and tell so many stories for myself, and i hardly ever write them to share with others. i leave so many things to my mind that i’ve never made real,

and it’s scary. because if an idea is bad, you either forget it or ignore it while it dwells in your head against your preferences.

but if a project is bad, then you’ll have spent time (that was already going to pass anyways) on nothing useful (that already was less real than you’ve made it now, and was already less useful than you’ve begun to make it, and you had less experience than you have now after trying) and that means you suck

[prose-for-hire]

Hopelessly devoted

Pairing: Faith x vamp!reader

Request: I was wondering if I could request something for a sort of ,,reformed'' vampire(theyve had their soul for a while) falling for either Oz or Faith and trying real hard to get on their good side? similar to that of spike I think only they arent as much of a creep abt it aojsbdis thanks

Requested by: Anon

Warning: Mention of killing in reader’s past.

A/N: There... might need to be a second part 💖

Hope was a concept you had always detested. It wasn’t tangible and it made people cling to things that often should have been long forgotten. Hope was something you had tried to remove from everyone’s hearts. Something that you detested more than the lives you had taken.

You had been around for some decades now. A lot of it was very similar. Human nature, for instance. They mistrusted you and for good reason. They could sense it although they did not know what the feeling was. The hair on the back of their neck would stand on end. Their heartbeats would quicken.

In the old days, this would excite you. Make you laugh even. The fear had been intoxicating. Like a fine seasoning. But now, it didn’t interest you. It just made you feel embarrassed.

You fought for your soul. Almost half a century ago now. You had come to terms with it, for the most part. Although, it wasn’t something you could get over in a night.

One thing, that had made your life brighter since was a sudden growing affection that had creeped up on you. For a Slayer.

It had given you a feeling inside. A small ember of something you hadn’t experienced long enough to name in the recent past. Something you hadn’t believed would be possible for someone like you. After all the ways you had tried to snuff the light from everyone else.

It was Faith. You were hopelessly devoted to her. In every sense. You would lay down your un-life for her. Commit every waking moment of yours to her. It was an unending, eternal affection that consumed every inch of you.

You hadn’t known what to do with it to begin with. How to express it. It soon became clear you would need to find a confidant as you couldn’t even begin to express these feelings to her. However, when you had bumped into Spike who you had known from the old days, he wasn’t much help.

For one, he was crying over Drusilla and completely drunk. Wasted out of his mind. The only advice that hadn’t been a slurred mess was when he advised you to watch her every movement until she wore down and gave you the time of day. Which, you had told him firmly that you wouldn’t be doing.

However, tonight, it did appear that this was what you were doing. She was walking through the graveyard alone and her scent had caught your attention as you walked through the streets looking for something to fill your time. Her natural scent was like a sweet perfume. It called to you. Sung heady notes of affection.

You had followed her to the graveyard. You weren’t skulking from the shadows. You weren’t prowling behind gravestones. You were just casually walking up to her. About to announce your presence.

What you didn’t realise was that she had been listening to music. Buffy had always warned her not to take her earphones to patrol but she trusted her instincts. And plus, she was so very bored without it. She often patrolled alone whereas Buffy got all her friends around her.

So, you were about to tap her on her shoulder and say hello when she swung around, taking you by the throat and slamming you against the closest mausoleum. You had squeaked in surprise and then subsequently coughed to try and cover it up as she did.

From nowhere she whipped a stake out and held it to your chest. Your eyes widened and your mouth opened slightly but no more sound came out. You just stood there, almost in awe of her as her hand clasped tight around your throat.

A thought came to mind, that you would at least be happy that she would be the last thing you saw before being damned to an eternal hell dimension.

“You wanna move that heart away from my stake?” She asked, when she finally registered that it was you.

“Sorry, I-I was just-” You stuttered as she moved away from the hold she had on you. You felt yourself move with her, trying to feel her touch for as long as possible.

“Following me? Actin’ on this massive jones you got for me?” She teased. She was joking but it wasn’t a joke to you. You looked away as she stepped back allowing you space. Your eyes had bulged in horror as you looked down, averting your gaze.

“I’m sorry, I was just trying to help”

“Yeah, well, don’t need my own stalker” She warned and you looked so beyond embarrassed it almost hurt her. She wanted to take her words back but she knew you would notice if she did.

“No! N-no not stalking, just making sure that you were, um, okay. I sensed you and-”

“I’m kiddin’, man, don’t freak” She punched your arm in a friendly way and both of you looked at each other slightly awkwardly. You frowned for a moment before you began to smile. She enjoyed the way it made your features brighten and it instantly made her feel better for having spoken the way she had.

“Sorry, I’m not really used to modern humour, I kind of shut myself away after I got my soul… I’m getting used to it though, it was… funny!” You blurted all of this out really quickly before adding the part at the end, trying to make her feel better. Her brow was furrowing again.

She found this admittance endearing almost. She watched your lips as you spoke. She wanted to kiss you. Usually she would make a move. She could give a person a look and end up taking them home. But this meant so much more. With you. She found herself getting a little nervous around you, wanting to make a move but feeling as if she would be rejected. Laughed at, although you had never been like that.

She couldn’t express her feelings. Instead she made jokes about you liking her, trying to gauge your reaction. Which, of course was neutral. Your mental health was still fragile ever since your soul had returned and you couldn’t risk the emotional reaction you may get if she tore your heart from your chest and crushed it with her bare hands.

“I can go though, if it would make you more comfortable-” You insisted, all you wanted was for her to feel comfortable around you.

“No!” She shouted, cringing at the note of desperation she heard in her own voice, “Uh, no, it’s nice to see you y’know? B’s always there when we’re talkin’ now”

You nodded, having noticed this too. When you and Faith would talk when you were able to meet the others in the library, Buffy and the others would always have something for one of you to do on the opposite side of the room. Or just plant themselves into your conversation.

It embarrassed you, that these people could tell that you liked her so much. That they were trying to save Faith from you. Your cursed love for her. Your heart was hers but you understood that just because it was reserved that way, it didn’t mean she would want to choose it from the pile.

This, actually, wasn’t entirely true. That Buffy was ‘saving’ Faith from you. And in some sense, Buffy was trying to save you from Faith too. She knew exactly what it was like to fall and be in a relationship with a vampire. The slayer and vampire love was one she wouldn’t wish on her own enemy. Not even Faith.

You were both good people, Buffy was sure of it, and so she was trying to prevent the inevitable heartbreak that she could sense building between you.

The blonde slayer had been surprisingly accepting of you on the whole, even in your more demonic years you had been more about survival than torture. Plus, you hadn’t been cursed your soul had been sought out - so you weren’t seen as that much of a threat.

This kept happening after a while. The two of you crossing paths on patrol. Until you began to plan where to meet in the evenings rather than hoping to bump into the other. You would meet and patrol together. Both of you enjoying these moments, Faith needed the company. She had felt very lonely until you had begun to power through your worries and try to befriend her the way you had always wanted to.

She enjoyed that it was you though. Your company she was keeping. She would run your interactions through her mind as she sat in her motel room. Just as you would from your crypt.

When you first got to know each other, you had begun talking and found commonalities. Reasons to become fond of the other. You noticed how she didn’t flinch away from you when she first learned about your past the way many others had.

You had been getting on so well that one evening as you were paying for your blood at the butchers, it dawned on you. You hadn’t been doing anything particularly meaningful. Just staring at the jars of blood, salivating guiltily. Until you thought it.

I love Faith.

Such a simple thought, but with such a rush of feelings behind them. It began to descend on you at once after this. A waterfall that you were sure would never stop flowing. You adored her. The way she moved, the way she acted. The softer side you had caught from her on occasion. When you had made her feel comfortable enough to let it slip even for a second.

It was another evening, after you had agreed to meet near the gargoyle that looked a little bit like the Mayor. You walked beside the other, where you would both wish for a demon to occupy your time if you were alone, you began to hope that nobody would interrupt your time together.

You would laugh and swap stories. It was everything. You stole glances at the other when you thought they weren’t looking. Your hands became so close when you were walking that you wanted to reach between the space and entwine your fingers with hers.

Faith had some trouble with getting the hang of this fighting technique that Wesley and Giles had insisted every Slayer should know. Buffy could do it with her eyes closed, of course and Faith was feeling like the understudy again. She wanted to hone her skills like Buffy did but without the ancient old guy staring at her while she did.

As you walked through the exit of the cemetery, you steeled yourself and decided to be brave.

“I could help, if you like…” You offered with a smile. You were experienced at fighting after all.

“Yeah?”

“Sure, as long as it’s not on a sunny afternoon” You joked which made her laugh.

“Hey, you’re gettin’ it” She nodded in approval of your improved humour since you and her had been spending more time together. You grinned gleefully at the compliment and she walked ahead of you, hiding her own smile at the way your face brightened at her words. She loved seeing you smile. Even more so when she was the reason you were smiling.

She stepped into the road and turned to you, wanting to get another look. So she could picture it later, when she was cold and only had the broken tv for company. You were looking at each other and just smiling.

Your smile suddenly dropped. You panicked, sensing the danger before she did. In the past, it would have been a good feeling, the lick of terror. It snapped through the air like a whip. Struck your senses in a way that would elicit a human’s hair standing on end. Goosebumps rising.

Accidental death meant tragedy. Blood. It meant adrenaline. Easy prey. You had enjoyed the taste. You hated that you had enjoyed the taste.

But the feeling was still identifiable. The warning signals still there but it now only meant dread.

Especially when it came to her. You ran at Faith, just hoping you would get to her in time.

“Faith! Watch out!” You screamed.

You tackled her, moving her out of the way of the oncoming traffic. Her slayer senses hadn’t been quick enough for the van that was heading her way. She had been so distracted by the way your features were lit up by the moonlight.

All of the time you had been spending with each other, hidden away from the others. Not telling them that you were together so often. She held onto this, needing this. Needing you. You were sweet, which she hadn’t ever thought she could call a vampire. Even less she wouldn’t think she would have fallen for such a seemingly sweet person.

You couldn’t lose each other, not now you were just finding each other.

You landed, tumbling together onto the other side of the road. Just in time. You landed above her, almost pressed flat against her. You couldn’t help just staring. Holding yourself up slightly so you could see her face.

She was trying to catch up with what had happened, her breathing heavy. That had gone so fast, she could have been really hurt. But you had saved her. Protected her.

She had always prided herself on the way she was so independent. On how she could look out for herself. But the truth was, she wanted you to be there. She wanted to be allowed to fall into your arms, just as she would hold you in hers.

You looked at each other and time stopped. Your eyes flickered from hers to her lips, if she blinked she could have missed it. Her eyes were scanning your face. She loved the way you looked at her as if the entire world revolved around her. You were so close you could feel her breath on your face. All you wanted to do was lean in and kiss her. Catch your lips with hers. She shifted slightly and you thought she might move in, but when she didn’t the feeling of desperate yearning turned into concern.

Concern that she may reject you. That you would no longer get these stolen moments. These patrols where all that made your soul feel relaxed. Comfortable. As if your soul could only feel safe when hers was near. She meant too much. You pulled away, moving your gaze from her.

You got to your feet and heard her exhale. You couldn’t tell if it was from relief or because of the same tension you felt. You weren’t sure you would ever know. You had tried so hard to get onto her good side. To show her you wanted to be friendly. But, this was so much more. It meant too much.

You offered your hand, helping her up and she took it. As she got to her feet, your hands clutching hers. The touch lingered. Until she pulled away. You didn’t realise but she had been about to lean in. Press her lips to yours, the way she had been imagining so often recently. But you had moved away too quickly.

You both looked at each other for a moment in silence before Faith nodded her thanks. You didn’t speak, as if it would be too much after what had happened. Both of you had known that meant something. That this was new. You dared to hope that the other felt the same, but both were too nervous to say. Because rejection, the thought of losing the other. The company. The understanding. Was too great.

You wanted to be hers. Wanted to tell her what she meant to you. You wanted happiness… love. But not at the expense of her feelings should she not reciprocate. So you parted ways, as you always did just before sunrise. You went your way, she went hers.

Your souls, they lingered together like your touch had, not wanting to leave their fate. Maybe one day, they might be allowed to stay together. Once you both worked on prising open your hearts. Allowing the other in.

All you had left now was hope.

[honeyfreckled]

we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER. 

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love  you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it. 

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

[dragonwitch77]

Death’s Flower ch 2

“Stupid kid. Stupid gods.” Snatcher grumbled, stomping down the seamlessly endless steps that descended down to his realm. A realm that only housed beings that had left the mortal world for good, where there is nowhere else to go when their life came to an end. A domain that had many names.

The Underworld. The Realm of the Death. The Underground. The Forsaken Place. The Domain of the Snatcher.

Pretty much those names were enough to fill in the mortals and gods alike of what was down there. Being the God of Death, souls of mortals were sent to his domain to be dealt with after their parting from the living world. It was his sole duty alone to do this task, whether he liked it or not.

And he didn’t mind it one bit.

In fact he liked that he was the God of Death. If it meant that others feared him and left him alone, then he didn’t mind reaping a couple hundred souls each day. It was fun to see others squirm in his presence, fearing when he might snap and attack them or prank them out of the blue. He may be the God of Death, but he had to have some fun once in a while.

He took in the site of his world as he reached the final step, standing on it as his eyes gazed over the world he ruled. Some would say that his domain was a dark place that didn’t even have a speck of light in it, but he could prove them wrong once they saw what a wonder his world was. It was like a kingdom of darkness, the only light coming from the pools filled with souls he had yet to judge, varying from bluish greens to deep purples and sky blue. As long as it wasn’t too colorful, his world was perfect.

“Boss! Boss!”

Almost perfect.

“What is it?” Snatcher sighed, stepping off the final step, letting the earth return to its natural state as it closed up behind him for another year before he could leave again.

His minion, one of many identical beings that swore their service to him, fell to the ground in front of him in a clumsy manor. Picking themselves up, they stood tall, or as tall as their pudgy small round body could only reach the height just half way to his knee. “Boss! Thank the Sisters you’re back! We just got a new batch of souls! It seems like a bunch a them had drowned.”

Snatcher rolled his eyes, sighing heavily. “That’s the third time this month. Honestly, how many idiotic mortals are going to die before they realize that fishing out in a storm is NOT a good idea?!” He walked past the minion, grumbling to himself as he went deep into his domain. “What’s the status on our current pools?”

“W-well, we’ve managed to sort out all the young and old into the pools they should go in. Few have tried to escape.” The minion followed behind him, listing off the things that had happened while the deathly ruler was gone. “The dogs were getting restless after you left so we set them lose on some damned souls to keep them occupied. A child recently died of an illness. Someone was stabbed to death. Moonjumper is here. And we still—OOF!”

The minion fell backwards, looking up at the long black hair of their master.

“I’m sorry.” The minion coward as Snatcher slowly turned around, his eyes illuminating in the darkness, staring down the minion. “Did I hear that right? Did you just say, Moon. Jumper. Is here?!” A deep growl emanated within Snatcher’s throat as his cape began dancing with power.

“I-I-I-I-I’M SORRY! We tried to send him away but he wouldn’t listen!” The minion shook with fear as the dark serge of Snatcher’s power radiated. “He insisted that he needed to see you urgently, but you weren’t here!”

“WHERE IS HE?!”

“AT THE TEMPLE! HE’S IN THE TEMPLE!” The minion openly wept as Snatcher growled with rage, running towards his home.

)*(

The home of the God of Death was, as the other gods described it, not as fancy or well lavished as all the other homes of the other gods and goddesses. It wasn’t made out of white stone marble, but black cracking earth and vines with sharp thorns that held it together. It was just as big as any home fit for a god, maybe even bigger than the rest of them, but was not very appealing to look at with crumbling pillars, broken floors, skeletons of the many deceased used for decorations and furniture, and bodies of past intruders hung on the ceiling to show as an example.

But while the other gods and goddesses would find the thought of going to such place disturbing if not revolting, there was in fact one god who did not mind Snatcher’s strange taste of design.

And the only god to get on his nerves.

“MOONJUMPERRRRR!” Snatcher screamed as he burst open the doors of his home, forgetting to restrain himself as his power tore the rotten wood off their hinges and clatter to the ground in pieces.

“Ah! So he finally arrives! Though I can see he’s quite angry as a beehive!”

Snatcher growled as he spotted the god sitting in his favorite chair with a bowl of grapes in his hand. “What are you doing here you pathetic excuse of a god?! You aren’t allowed in the Underworld without permission from me!”

The god merely grinned, plucking a grape and popping it in his mouth. “Permission from you? Oh how silly but true. While indeed most do, I however can pop in out of the blue.”

Snatcher stormed his way up to Moonjumper, slamming his claws into the seat’s armrests and growled dangerously. “I REALLY insist that you stop with your ridiculous habit of rhymes you—”

“Temper temper! There’s no need of this distemper!” Moonjumper rose from the seat, shoving the bowl in Snatcher’s hands. “I only came for a visit! Now that’s not such a crime, is it?”

The god giggled, going around Snatcher as he threw the bowl filled with fruit away. Most would say that the two were look similar to one another. But while their faces did seem to mirror each other, that is where the similarity ended. While Snatcher was thin, bony, pale skinned, golden eyes, had wild long hair that reached to the floor, covered in darkness and wore pants, Moonjumper was a class of his own with his short pure white hair, blue skin, bright red colored clothing with chains wrapped around his torso and neck, wild red eyes, and scars covering his face.

And majorly legless. Everyone could spot the lack of legs from miles away. And it was no secret to how he lost them in the first place.

“You little pest! How many times do I have to beat it in you that I do not want you here?! You have your own domain! Go use that instead of here!”

“I do not wish to be this pestering! I only dropped by to see what your mind is festering.” Moonjumper grinned, floated around Snatcher. “You seemed quite tense, I should know. Tell me, what’s bothering you so?”

“I don’t need to tell the likes of you!” Snatcher shoved past Moonjumper. “I know your tricks God of Corpses! Don’t think for a second that I won’t know what you’re up to!”

“But that is not true! I really came to see you!” Moonjumper followed him, keeping a distance between them in case the Death God decided to get a little… slashy. “Say all you want with your skilled tongue of lies, I can see it in your sad eyes.”

“Stop following me.” Snatcher growled. “I’ve already got enough to deal with, and your visit is not helping.”

“Indeed all this talking isn’t much help. Shouldn’t you be searching for the thieving little whelp?”

Snatcher froze in his tracks. He slowly looked over his shoulder, glaring at the other god behind him. “How… did you know something was stolen from me?”

Moonjumper clicked his tongue, waging his finger at Snatcher. “Oh silly Snatcher, can’t you see? There’s a connection between you and me. Though knowledge and memories we do not share, you tend to let you emotions go wild without care. Though it was only just very brisk, I could feel that the balance of the world is at great risk.” He grabbed to cloak that Snatcher never took off, pulling it up so that the tear was visible for both of them to see.

“For such a precious item that you deeply tend with care, seems that someone defiled it with a horrible tear.”

Snatcher swatted Moonjumper’s hands away, tugging the cloak close to him.

“This act is quite shameful, but who is very blameful? Mortal or god? This act has got me quite awed! For stealing a piece of the cloak that belongs to none other than you Snatcher, must be feeling deep satisfactory and rapture.”

“If it were a mere mortal that stole from me, they would die instantly when they touch the piece even by a little.” Snatcher glared at the tear. “No mortal can do such a task and get away with this without consequences. Even with help from another god, the task is impossible.”

“Ah! But to have a piece taken under your nose and gone! It seems that impossible was in fact improbable along.”

Snatcher shot a dirty look at Moonjumper. “… I don’t have time to deal with you. I have work that needs my attendance.” With that he stormed off, leaving Moonjumper to giggle madly at nothing.

)*(

“Thank you for coming Caitlin. I know this was sudden with what happened earlier today and with your help with the guests.”

“It’s no trouble! I was happy to help! Plus, I hadn’t had the chance to use my whip on someone for a long time now so I felt it was necessary for some practice.” Caitlin grinned, patting her trusted whip hooked on her belt. “Besides, I wanted to see the little cutie again~! I just can’t get enough of his tiny little fingers~!” The goddess purred, making Zaman laugh happily.

“Yes. Lyvia has certainly made a cute… child…”

“… Is something the matter?” Caitlin asked, noticing the sad look in Zaman’s three eyes.

“It’s nothing old friend. Just… Lyvia never showed any deep desire for anything other than looks before. I knew she had a soft spot for children, but… to go this far to make one. Without a partner no doubt. I… I honestly don’t know how to feel! I would never allow her to sleep with any man of course! She’s still too… too arrogant I fear. I feel like she only did it for attention and has no real desire to care for her daughter.”

“Zaman, old friend, do not worry!” Caitlin took Zaman’s hand between hers, grasping it tightly. “Your daughter is taking a big step. Motherhood is rewarding and learning. She will learn to be less immodest as she cares for her new child and learn to take her responsibility well. She now has someone who will depend on her and rely on her to take care of them. I’ve seen plenty of new mothers in my time and she’s no different.”

“But what if she strays from her duty as a mother? Children need constant care after all. I would know this well when Lyvia was but a small child herself and I had to raise her on my own.”

“Ah, but that is where you are wrong dear friend. You were not alone! You had friends who were willing to help. And now, your daughter has friends that are willing to help her raise her child when she is in need of that help.�� She gave her friend’s hand a squeeze.

Zaman sighed, shaking his head with a smile. “You… are a very wise old friend. And very right. I’m still worried about her, but I will give her a chance at being a mother.” His smile grew wide as his three eyes gleamed with a spark of giddiness in them. “And it will be a joy to be a grandfather. After all, someone needs to spoil my grandchild!”

“Oh you!” Caitlin slapped his arm in good fun as the God of Time roared with laughter.

“Father? Caitlin? Can you come to the garden please?” Lyvia’s voice called out from the garden, catching both of the gods attention. They shared a look before heading over to the garden.

The garden was a beautiful place, filled with flowers and fruits, with decorations that wild the imagination of any mortal, and small animals that played in the trees and sang lovely songs gifted by the goddess herself. Lyvia was seated by the edge of one of the many lakes in the garden, watching the colorful fish swim about.

“Lyvia? Is something the matter child?” Zaman asked, approaching her quietly as her child was sleeping in her arms.

Lyvia continued to stare at the fish swimming in the water before slowly turning her gaze to the moon. “… Father? How, high are the walls surrounding the garden?”

Zaman, taken by surprise by the question, shared a glance with his old friend. “Well, very high my child. Why do you ask?”

Lyvia looked away from the fish, fixing her eyes on her father. “Is it not possible to make them higher? I… would like them to be taller.”

“Now why in the world would you want that? The walls surrounding the garden are very high already.” Caitlin questioned, one of her ears tilting down in confusion.

“I know they are high as they are now Caitlin. And you are right to question my sudden request.” Lyvia stood up slowly so not to disturb her child’s rest. “But, please understand. It’s for my child’s safety.”

“The walls are tall enough for you not to worry for her safety my daughter. I made them myself and with the finest builders! Why has this worry come upon you?”

“…”

“… It’s… because of him, isn’t it?” Caitlin’s ear flattened against her head, her tail dipping down low to the ground.

Zaman sighed. “Lyvia—”

“Please father! After what happened today, I’m worried for her safety! Not fearing the God of Death is one thing, but to laugh in his face is another! Have you ever met someone who has laughed in the face, the actual face, of death himself?”

Zaman’s mouth hung open, yet no words came out. “… well… no. I can not tell you who has done such a thing.”

“Exactly! You both have told me what he is like. He will not take this lightly! What if he tries to do harm to my child? Or worse, kill her?”

“Now now! There’s no need to worry about that!” Zaman placed his hands on Lyvia’s shoulders. “Snatcher has used his one day of walking on the surface of the living. And he may be the God of Death, but he’s never taken a life of a god before!”

“But… but what about the Dark Days?”

The two older gods cringed, looking away from Lyvia.

“… Snatcher… does tend to hold a bit of a grudge against others.” Caitlin spoke quietly, her tail swishing to and fro. “I’ve seen firsthand of what he can do when he’s pushed far enough. He can turn things rather ugly real quick.”

Zaman sighed, rubbing his neck. “He’s an unpredictable one. With a variety of tricks up his sleeve.”

“Please build the wall higher father! My child must be protected from his wrath!”

Zaman glanced at his daughter, looking deep into her pleading eyes and found great worry deep within them. He looked to his grandchild, seeing the peaceful look on her sleeping face. So innocent and untainted by the world.

“… fine.” Zaman sighed with reluctance. “I shall see to it that the wall gets built taller.”

“Thank you father!” Lyvia threw her arm around her father, hugging him tightly. “Thank you! Thank—Oh!” Lyvia pulled back as her child started to cry. “My poor baby, did mommy startle you? Oh, I’m sorry.” She rocked herself, heading off for her chambers.

Caitlin watched as the young goddess walked away, turning to her old friend with a deep frown on her face. “Would building the walls higher even make a difference? Snatcher is a crafty one and you know that walls won’t stop him if he really will go after her child.”

Zaman rubbed his chin, stroking his small beard. “He is crafty. Too cleaver for my taste, and, dare I say, smarter than me and the Sisters. And terrifyingly dangerous. I wouldn’t be surprised if he tries anything, but I’m sure he wouldn’t try anything so soon. But then again. It wouldn’t hurt to prepare and add a little guard to the place.”

“Yes, but would it be enough to stop him? He can be very persistent on his tasks, nothing will sway him from what he sets his mind on.” Caitlin huffed. “To think… he was once one of us on equal ground.”

“Now now. The past is behind us all Caitlin. What happened, happened. There’s nothing we can do now but more forward with time of the future.”

“… Zaman… how… how can you be the only god I know who doesn’t hold on to the past without a deep grudge? Everyone else seems to still hold it against him for what he’s done but you—”

“Caitlin, let’s just say for now that we all were young back then. Snatcher may almost be as old as me and older than you, but sometimes, you have to look at all angles before you see the whole picture.”

Caitlin stared at her friend for a moment before sighing and shaking her head. “I love you old fool, but sometimes, even with the clearness of a cat, you still remain a big mystery to me.”

Zanam smiled. “Because too much curiosity can kill the cat.” He laughed as Caitlin gave him a solid punch to the arm, leading her back inside for a few drinks before seeing her off that night.

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

If You Ever Come Back (Yoongi x You ONESHOT)

A/N: Yes, yes I most definitely know who you are MRS MIN YOONGI! ahahaha. I dont know if this is up to your expectations but I hope you like it <3

and requests are still open guys <33

MASTERLIST

f you're standing with your suitcase But you can't step on the train Everything's the way that you left it I still haven't slept yet

"Y/N!"

She turned around to see Min Yoongi running towards her, stopping only a few feet away. His clothes and hair disheveled, maybe from running all the way to the train station. Y/N has been standing at the platform for quite sometime now, tears running down her beautiful face, hand holding the handle of her luggage tight, her mind contemplating her next move.

She dont know if she can do this.

If she can leave him.

If she will be able to live without him.

Without Min Yoongi, her first love, the love of her life.

"Y/N, please... dont go," the wind bring his soft voice to her ears, his sad eyes looking straight at her. "Please, just... just come back to me,"

Y/N kept quiet, not knowing what to say other than staring at his beautiful face. Memorizing every inch of it as if its the last time she will be able to do so. It would most probably be the last time and the thought make her heart hurt.

"Come back Y/N. Dont leave. Dont leave me. Lets just go home," he pleaded. Y/N almost nodded at his plea. Almost gives up everything and ran back into his arms, there nothing more that she wants other than to just hold him tight. "Just come back baby. Everything is still the same. We will forget everything, it will be just like you were never gone,"

She raised her eyes from roaming all over his face to stare deep into his eyes. His last words pushing her feet to finally make the decision that she had been contemplating about for hours.

"Everything is still the same,"

"That's exactly why I have to leave Yoongi. Because everything is still the same. You will always be the same. We will always be the same... And I... I cant do that anymore," she whispered between the tears that starts to fall even faster down her cheeks and turn around to board the train that just arrived in time, as if knowing how much she needs her escape right now.

Still setting two plates on the counter but eating without you I'm sleeping on your side of the bed Goin' out of my head now

Yoongi tossed his keys on the side table, his whole mind and body tired and exhausted from what just happened. Y/N's tear strained face as she said her goodbye and board the train, her last words, everything is tattooed clearly in his mind.

He had make it his mission to bring Y/N back with him when he stepped out from the house to chase after her esrlier. But why is he alone in the dark house that still smells like her right now? Feeling weak and defeated?

Yoongi slowly peeled himself off the sofa and tried to make something edible enough for him in the kitchen, hoping food would help to distract him, but it was hard. Everywhere he look, all he can see is Y/N's shadows haunting him, taunting him. He moved towards the cupboards to take out a plate but stopped immediately as a rish of memories took over.

"Yoongi, stop. Im going to drop these plates if you keep doing that!" Y/N squeal as Yoongi hug her from behind while she is reaching for the top shelves.

"Then drop the plates and give me a kiss instead," he pouted and turned her around to face him.

"You are so clingy sugarplum. You are really soft arent you? Not as bad ass as people thought you are," she giggled as she pecks his nose.

"Im only soft for you baby," he nuzzled her neck. "And I hate how you always calls me sugarplum. I'm a bad boy remember? You are really ruining my image here baby,"

"No matter what you say, you will always be my sugarplum. And I love my sugarplum so very much," she giggled again before Yoongi cupped her chin in his grip and leaned in to kiss her deeply.

Yoongi shakes his head, making the memory dissappear and urgently wipe his tears that is trickling down his cheeks without his permission. He silently swears to himself that if he ever get to hold her in that way again, she can call him anything she wants and he will gladly answer to it. Anything as long as she came back to him again.

He sighed and start to set the table, finally sitting down to eat whatever he managed to muster in his dazed mind when he realized he had prepared the table for two oit of habit. His eyes drift to the empty plate and empty chair opposite from him, knowing that it wont ever be occupied again with someone that he really wants and he suddenly lost all his appetite.

He shoved his food away and dragged his feet to his bedroom, throwing himself on the bed. The once crowded bed suddenly feel too empty, too cold without Y/N there. He looks up into the ceiling and blinks back the tears that has threathen to fall as her scent that is still left on the pillows filling his nostril.

"Roll over sugarplum! Stop sleeping on my side of the bed you hogger," she playfully nudged him away but Yoongi pulled her by the waist instead, making her fall on top of him.

"I told you we can both fit on this side of the bed," he grins and lift his head to give her a quick peck. "I love you Y/N... I really do," his eyes looks softly at hers, showing all the affection he have for her. Affection that he never felt for anyone else.

"And I love you too Min Yoongi," she kissed him back. "But I love my side of the bed more!" She giggled once she broke the kiss and pushed him away, catching him off guard.

Yoongi nuzzled his face into her pillow, stopping the tears from falling once again, hoping to feel her warmth from the cold unattended pillows.

"Im sleeping on your side of the bed Y/N. Do you hear me? So you have to come back home now and kick my ass for that..." he mumbles softly. "Just please... come back Y/N. I miss you so much... too much,"

If the truth is you're a liar Then just say that you're okay And if you're covering your face now But you just can't hide the pain

"Hey... its okay. Just cry. Just let it out. You need to let it out Y/N," Jin Hee looks at her friend who is solemnly staring outside the cafe glass window, her eyes glassy but no tears are coming out.

Y/N and Yoongi has been together for years, been together for as long as Jin Hee could even remember. They are in love and happy but things started to go south when Yoongi starts to get more recognition and getting busier. Y/N can understand his busy schedule, not being able to see her as often as before. She even understands that he spend most of his free time in his studio instead of with her, leaving her alone at home, missing him and yearning for him. She's fine with everything. Its the price to pay for being in love with someone as talented and obligated to his work like Min Yoongi.

But what she couldnt understand is how Yoongi would let out his anger on her. Acting cold towards her whenever he hit a road block on his music writing or when something happened to one of his songs. Yoongi would come back on the rare days that he would actually be home being all angry and screaming at her, slamming the bedroom door shut in her face. She understands it all. Music is his life and its hard for him when he is faced with pressure and datelines, sometimes even being short on ideas, but cant he rely on her for comfort instead of turning her into his anger punching bag?

Countless nights were spend crying on the living room couch only to be woken up inside Yoongi's warm embrace, giving butterfly kisses all over her face as he repeats his sorry a million times. Y/N loves him. She really do. But how long can she take it? How long will she be able to stand being second to his music?

"I'm okay Jin Hee," was Y/N short reply. Jin Hee shakes her head and gave her a sad smile.

"You are not okay Y/N. And you are also a very bad liar," she chuckle. "I know its hard. I know you miss him. You miss Yoongi dont you?"

Y/N turned her face to look at her friend, trying hard not to show the pain she's feeling but knowing she fails anyway. Jin Hee knows her too well.

"I..."

"Stop trying to hide it. You are in pain. You and Yoongi are meant to be. Are you sure leaving him is really the best way?"

"I dont know what else to do. Things will never change Jin Hee. Even if I go back to him... wouldnt things would still be the same? Wouldnt I be hurt again and again?" She sighed, remembering their endless fights and tears, but also all the good times filled with kisses and hugs they shared.

"I dont know Y/N. But what you had with Yoongi... I feel like its too special for you to just throw it away. Just... think about it, okay?" Jin Hee gave her one sad smile before standing up to attend to some of the customer who just came in.

Y/N played with her hands as she stare out the window again, looking at the happy couple walking and laughing together. She miss Yoongi. Its only been two days but she miss him like crazy. It kills her to be apart from him. To not be talking to him at all.

No matter what had happened in their relationship, the fights, the pain and the hurt, she still loves Yoongi.

She loves Min Yoongi.

And just like he knows exactly what she is thinking at this exact moment, her phone rings, flashing his name bright and clear on the screen

Min Sugarplum ♡♡

And I wish you could give me the cold shoulder And I wish you can still give me a hard time And I wish I could still wish it was over But even if wishing is a waste of time Even if I never cross your mind

Yoongi woke up sweating like crazy, his breathing short and ragged from the nightmare he just had. He dreamt that Y/N left him for good. He turndto the other side of the bed, hands reaching out, expecting for her warm touch and easy smile telling him its all just a dream but reality hits him hard when all he felt is the cold untouched sheets on her side of the bed.

He was not dreaming at all. It really happened.

Y/N left him.

She finally gives up on them. She finally had enough of the bullshit from him, the shitty way he treats her and left.

And she's not coming back.

Yoongi blinked as he stares at the ceiling, the chilly morning air sending shivers to his skin. He remembers later through their relationship, the days when Y/N would just ignore him after he came back exhausted from camping out at the studio for five straight days. Yoongi understands she's mad at him for shutting her out everytime he's working. He should apologized the moment he walked into the apartment but he's too tired, too oblivious, too exhausted to care, and he just shrugged off her cold shoulder and make his way to the bedroom, giving his tired body its well deserve rest. He had hoped for her warm smile and embraced to heal his tired mind but he should have known better. He dont deserve that after leaving her high and dry for days with no calls or texts.

If only he knows then what he knows now. If only he knows then that Y/N was never petty. She would never hate him for being so passionate for his music. If only he knew then that he had missed her birthday that night. The one he promised to celebrate together. The one Y/N has dressed up for and waited for him for hours. Him always rejecting her calls all night when she tried to reach him.

If only he knew.

If only he knew then that he should have just said sorry and Y/N would have happily accepted his apology and ran back into his arms, wanting nothing more than to spend what little left of her birthday with him than fight.

But he didnt know. And he didnt bother to know.

So he slept on the empty bed alone as Y/N cried herself to sleep on the couch that night.

He also  remembers when Y/N starts to be difficult, giving him a hard time. Always complaining how he never make time for her anymore. Instead of talking it out with her, he chose to spend the whole month in the dorm and studio, again leaving her with no explanation.

If only he realized then that the only reason Y/N would even start complaining is because he didnt even spare her a minute in a week. He always left early and came back late and she didnt even get a chance to even catch a glance of his face.

If only he knew then that with just one quick hi from him between his busy schedule would return back the smile on her face, he would have done it without a doubt.

But he didnt know.

So their fight just got bigger and bigger, Yoongi, trying to a ood the fights and confrontations keeps spending more time in his studio rather than at home and tears just wont stop leaving Y/N's face in this point of their relationship anymore.

If only he knew.

He remembers sometimes during their relationship that he wishes it was over. That he was never involved in a relationship in the first place. Then he would be free to work on his music without thinking about anything else. Without the guilt, the pressure and the fights.

But then he remembers the moment Y/N told him she has given up on them, that she's leaving. He remembers when she said, with tears running down her face, that Yoongi is free from her now. Free to do his music without her as a distraction. Her face when she is walking out the door with some of her things, only the things that she could get her hands on in order to get away from him as fast as she could.

And suddenly he yearns for the cold shoulder Y/N used to give her when they fight, the hard time she gave him when he had a new project coming up, whining and demanding for his attention. He finds himself yearning for the times he is still able to wish that he was not in a realtionshiop, to be able to wish that his relationship was over.

Because at least then, it means that Y/N is still here with him.

Because it means that Y/N is still his.

No matter how he thinks about it, he decides that he would go through the bad times again and again as long as he knows that by the end of the day, he still can call Y/N his.

With new found courage and determination to get back what's his, he finally picks up the phone and dial the number he remembers by heart.

And if you're out there tryna move on But something pulls you back again I'm sitting here tryna persuade you like you're in the same room

"Yo...Yoongi?"

"Y/N..."

Silence enveloped the conversation, no sound were heard from both lines.

"I... I miss you," Yoongi breath out, making Y/N gasps. She is trying her best to move on from him. To start anew, to start living in a world without him. But hearing his voice again kills her.

Hearing him say he misses her... it just breaks all resolve she had work hard to build for the past days.

"Yoongi...please. Don't do this,"

"No, Y/N.  Its me who cant do this. I cant do this. I thought I can. I thought I can give you what you wanted. A happier life without me. I thought I will make it without you. I'll be fine without you. But I cant," he sobbed through the phone. After all the times he tried to held it in, his emotions finally broke loose. People who knows him knows he is a man of little words, he is not a man who show his emotions to anyone. He seldom cry or get angry. He minds his own business, avoiding any drama surrounding him. He lets out his emotions only on lyric papers, in a beat somewhere late in his studio. But this time, this time even his songs cant save him. He needs the love of his life to hear him. To understand the pain he's feeling right at this moment.

He's crying.

He's begging.

For the love of his life to just come back to him.

"Y/N..." he chokes out. "Please... please come back to me,"

"Dont do this. Please dont. We had so many chances to fix our relationship Yoongi. We tried everything, but nothing works. We dont work..." she sobbed.

"No. No Y/N. Dont say that. I love you. I love you Y/N. And I know you still love me too. Dont you Y/N?"

"Yoongi..." Y/N can only say his name. There is no way she can deny what he's saying. Even a blind man can see how much she still loves him.

"Love is enough baby. I promise you we will work things out. Because we love each other. Please Y/N. Give us this one last chance. Come back. Come back to me and we will work it out,"

"I cant Yoongi. I'm tired. Im tired of fighting for something that will never work. I'm... I'm sorry,"

And the line went dead.

If it's the fighting you remember or the little things you miss I know you're out there somewhere so just remember this

Ever since that phone call, Yoongi has been relentless, bombarding Y/N's phone with non stop phone calls and text messages, ranging from casual hi's and desperate begging.

Y/N tried her best but her love for Yoongi makes her heart beats faster whenever his name appeared on her phone. It also breaks her heart when she heard him begging and sobbing. The Min Yoongi that she knew was never this weak. No one was able to make him cry or even worse beg. Did she hurt him this much? It didnt sit well with her to know that she is the cause of his pain. She thought leaving will only make it easier for the both of them.

Not being able to take it anymore, Y/N takes a deep breath to find some courage for herself and slide her phone, finally picking up his calls after his millionth time trying.

"Y/N. You finally answered me!" Yoongi's sound happy, relieved and sad at the same time.

"Stop calling me Yoongi! Please,"

"I cant do that Y/N. I wont do that," he said full of determination in his voice.

"Yoongi please. There is nothing for us to talk about. There is nothing left in our relationship to salvage Yoongi!" Y/N is frustrated. She still loves him and is desperately trying to forget him, but his constant phone calls is not helping her even a bit. "All we do is fight Yoongi. We dont even have time for each other..." her voice turned sad at the memory.

"You still remember Y/N. That means something,"

"What? What are you talking about Yoongi. Stop saying nonsense,"

"Even if its just the fights that you remember, it still means you remember us Y/N. Every moment spend with you, good and bad, everything is worth remembering, both wonderful because I'm with you. And I know you feel the same way Y/N,"

"Yoongi. Stop. I-"

"No. Listen to me," he plead. "Even if its just the fights that you remembered. Or the little things like me always hogging your tv and never putting the toilet seat down," he heard her chuckle between sobs, "its just means that you still remember us Y/N."

Yoongi kept quiet for a moment, only the light sound of breath can be heard from both sides.

"I dont know where you are Y/N. But I swear that I will find you again. Things will change this time. I will change. We will make it work no matter what. We love each other and nothing is going to beat that,"

"Yoongi... love alone wont be enough,"

"Yes it is baby. Dont you ever wonder why you still remembers everything we had together? Doesnt bad the good or the bad? Why you still bother to even pick up my phone calls if you hate me so much?" Yoongi smirked.

"Its because you love me Y/N. And your love will bring you back to me someday,"

I'll leave the door on the latch If you ever come back, if you ever come back There'll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat If you ever come back There'll be a smile on my face and the kettle on And it will be just like you were never gone

Another one of his endless phone calls and another one of his begging which Y/N is listening too with tears in her eyes.

"I will wait for you Y/N. I know you still love me. I know you do," his voice defeated, barely above a whisper but he feels the need to convince her one last time. "What we have is real. We will fix everything. We will. So I will wait for you to come back,"

"Yoongi. Dont do-"

"No. I will wait. I will leave the hall light open for you. Just the way you like it. Your book is still on the coffee table, I never touched it because you dont like when I do that. Your flowers by the window are still blooming because I watered them everyday. I know how upset you will be if they died. Your clothes are still in the closet. And our room... our room still smell like you Y/N. I didnt sleep on your side of the bed. Okay maybe once but that's only because I missed you too much. But everything is just waiting for you to come back Y/N," he rambled on like a mad man, not giving a chance for Y/N to cut him off.

"Everything is still the same. Everything is just like you are still here. So come back. Come back to me. I'll be here waiting for you, smiling when you open the door. We dont even have to talk about this. We can just pretend like you never left. Just as long as you come back. Okay baby?"

"Yoongi..." Y/N whispered his name, he can hear the sobbing on the other line, harder than any other days and he felt his heart clenched. Something is not right. He feels like he is losing her all over again.

"Its not going to happen Yoongi  I wont come back. I do love you. I love you so much Min Yoongi, but dont wait up for me. Because I wont ever come back to you. I'm... I'm so sorry,"

"Y/N..."

She has already hung up the phone.

Now they say I'm wasting my time 'Cause you're never comin' home But they used to say the world was flat But how wrong was that now?

"Its been a month since your last phone call Yoongs. How long are you going to mope around?" Hoseok looks at his friend worriedly.

"Why dont you come back and stay at the dorm with us? I miss my roommate," Jin tried to persuade the moping Yoongi back. Truth is, they are worried. They knew the break up has left a big impact on him but he didnt seem this... weak before. Yoongi even look a little cheerful the past weeks and suddenly bam, he turned into a living zombie.

"No. I have to be here. She might come home," he shakes his head and slumped back on the couch, covering himself with the blanket.

"Yoongs... its been months. I dont thinks she's coming,"

"She will hyung. I just know it. We have been talking for the past weeks..." his voice trailed off, sadness suddenly engulfing him. So Yoongi and Y/N has been talking. Is that why he seems happier the past weeks? But what happened suddenly to turned him into this breathing lump of a man? Jin thought to himself as he observed the man wrapped in a blanket burrito in front of him.

"You two talked? Thats great! Then what happened?" Jin carefully tried to dig deeper into what could actually happened.

"She said she wont ever come back to me...," Yoongi's soft voice muffled by the blanket but loud enough for the two to hear, making them exchanged looks. "I know she said that a million times, but there's something different in her voice this time... and I think... I think Y/N really mean it," he peeks from the blanket and the two males can see how glossy his eyes are from unshed tears.

"Oh Yoongs..." Hoseok immediately lurged forward and gave him a tight hug. Jin stood up and sat on the other end of the couch, his hands patting Yoongi's legs.

"Then... why dont you come with us? Maybe just for a little while? The other boys miss you too you know. We dont want you to be sad alone Yoongi. Y/N might never come back for real," the eldest man whispered carefully, hoping it wont trigger Yoongi into extreme rage. He knows his words hurt but someone has to tell the truth to this hear broken man.

Yoongi only weakly shakes his head as a sign of rejecting the offer. "As good as that sounds hyung, no. I will stay here. This is our home. She will come back. Later if not sooner. And I need to be here when she does,"

"Yoongi..." Jin sighed.

"Im sure of it,"

"What if you are wrong? How long are you going to torture yourself like this?"

"But what if you two are the one who are wrong and she did come back to see that I didnt wait for her? You might say that Y/N wont come back, but people also used to say that the earth is flat and ended up wrong anyway. So who's to know which one of us is wrong or right?"

Both Jin and Hoseok sighed. There is no point in talking some sense into Yoongi right now. There is nothing they can do other than wait and hope that he will get a grip of reality.

"Okay Yoongi. If that's what you want then, we wont force you,"

"But one of us will come often to check on you okay?" Hoseok flashed him a worried look.

"Yeah. Whatever," was the only mumble they heard before Yoongi pulls the blanket to cover his face again.

But even if wishing is a waste of time Even if I never cross your mind

Yoongi crumpled another piece of paper and threw it to the corner of the living room, making it join the stack of paper that shared the same fate.

He tried his best to get over her. To not think about her. Its been more than a month now. Maybe she really isnt coming back. Maybe waiting and hoping is really just a waste of time and another way to hurt his already broken heart. Maybe Y/N has really move on and didnt even think about him at all. He tried to pour all his emotions in a new song but nothing seems to work. Everything he wrote doesnt seem to work. He kept crumpling paper after paper in frustration and finally giving up and lay flat on the cold floor.

I miss you Y/N. What are you doing right now? Are you happy? Did you find somebody new already? Someone who loves you right?

A soft knock reached his ears and he groaned out. True to their promisse, one of the boys would come everyday to check on his condition. Mostly trying to see if he is still breathing or not. But Yoongi usually doesnt mind since they will bring him food and gives him some company.

But not today.

Today he just wants to be alone and mope. He wants to be alone and think about his stupid mistakes. To think about the ways he could have fix his relationship before everything gone down to shit.

Today he just wants to sit and think about Y/N.

"Go away," Yoongi yelled half heartedly towards the continuous knocking on the door. He is drained of all energy as he laid down flat on the cold living room floor. But the soft knocking still continues, making him extremely annoyed now.

"Go away Hobi. I know its you. I'm fine. I'm still alive okay! I dont wanna see you. I dont wanna see anybody today. Can you jist leave me alone? Whoever you are?!" he yelled again with all the strength he has left, thinking it might be one of the other boys and not Hoseok who came today, but the knocking still wont stop. With trails of dry tears all over his face, swollen eyes and disheveled hair, he peels himself off the cold floor and make the short distance to the door.

With an angry forced he swing open the door, ready to bite off whoever's head that is standing there.

"Hobi, I said-" Yoongi stop midtrack as he stares at the tear strained face looking back at him. Tears are rolling down her cheeks but a smile still graced her lips as her body shakes to control her cries. This is definitely not his smiling best friend.

Yoongi blinked, hoping he is not dreaming as the beautiful face that he has been imagining in his dreams all these months stares back at him with wide eyes.

"I-"

"Hi... sugarplum. You were right... Your love... it brought me back to you,"

And it will be just like you were never gone

[bbjhfgjngdbliy-blog]

Clash above the clouds a Saihen of the Sound story 4

The passenger area was one of the most lavish places Saihen had seen in his life. The crystal lights than hung from the ceiling cast a calming light over the ornate tables positioned between each of the plush cushioned benches. The din of chatter was admittedly slightly overwhelming so he approached a man in a uniform bearing the airship’s emblem. The man was a mountain towering over Saihen and was built like a Akimichi.

“Excuse me” The man’s eyes darted down to meet Saihens “Could you point me in the direction of the sleeping area?” “No idea” rumbled the mountain.

“Well that was super helpful” Saihen muttered before he walked off.

After a few minutes of searching he found a sign pointing up a flight of stairs with a bed on it. “Well it couldnt be any more obvious than that” His limp made the stairs more of a hassle than they truly needed to be but he still felt the disguise necessary for now at least.

Doors lined both sides of the hallway. Most of them were occupied according to the dials on the doors. Some of them judging from the muffled sounds he heard werent being used for sleeping. At last he found a open door. “Finally some peace and q-” As he stepped into the room he saw a male figure clad in a black jacket sitting on the floor in front of a Go board. The man’s jacket hung open revealing a mesh undershirt that did very little to hide the well toned body underneath. “Looking for some peace im assuming? This place is so damn crowded. You are more than welcome to stay if you want. I would enjoy some competition” The mans voice was deep and washed through the room like the waves of the ocean.

As Saihen entered the room he glanced into the corners to make sure they were actually alone. He grabbed one of the many tatami mats on the floor and slid it over in front of the board before sitting on it. He looked up at the man across from him. His wide face had gentle features to it, his eyes were a light violet. His cheeks were slightly chubby proving no matter how fit you were some people are stuck with a baby face. The only proof this man had ever seen combat was a scar on the bridge of his nose where a break had healed.

“I thank you for the invitation my name is Saihen.” He gave a slight head bow. He had no way of knowing who this man was and assumed it best to cover his bases.

The man chuckled and then his bellowing laugh filled the room it continued for a few moments before he stopped and had to suck in some air. “Sorry sorry. I mean no disrespect friend I merely find it humorous you would show me respect. My name is Mokuzai and I am what you would call a ronin. I deserve none of this song and dance of respect. Just treat me how you would a theif or beggar. For I am no higher than them.”

“All people deserve respect Mokuzai. I wouldnt judge a theif just for stealing or a beggar for having hard times I cant possibly know the events that lead up to that and as such cant form a true judgement of them” Saihen said

Mokuzai with a smile still on his lips “Careful there Saihen, people might not much like being told that beggars and theives arent the trash of society. If they have to see them as people then they might have to actually do something about it. But enough of this heavy talk let us play”

Saihen picked up a stone and placed it on the board. “So what brings you here Mokuzai?” Mokuzai thinks for a moment before placing his stone down. “Oh you know just traveling the country looking for something exciting. You?” Saihen places his stone and a stacatto clack echoes through the room. “Looking for an old friend. Hoping to get the group back together.” Clack “What kind of group? Like a band?” Clack “No. More like a…activist group” Clack “Oh? What do you guys protest?” Clack “Now we protest the unfair treatment of the lower classes by those above them. People arent all equal however thats no reason to not respect and help when its needed.” Clack “You say now. What was the goal before you guys split? What made the split? Clack "The previous members ended up becoming puppets for the very thing they were against. Then whwn the war happened none of them made it.” Clack “Jeez Saihen.  Sounds alot alike what happenend to this group I heard of. They were actually the ones behind the war. But before then they helped the smaller villages. They trained them to fight. They even lent money when needed. I cant remember their name.” Clack Saihen had to struggle to keep from reacting to his words. To keep those emations locked away he didnt know if this man was friend or foe. “Sounds like a..interesting group of individuals” Clack “Yeah they were I really thought they had the right idea.” Clack “Enough about me though. Whats your current go-”

A earsplitting screech filled the air. The two looked at each other leaping to their feet and in unison. “Stay here” “What? Me?” “You”

Saihen was incedibly confused as to why this civilian would tell him to stay. Until he looked at the wall behind Mokuzai there resting on the floor where it was hidden by his body was a katana. The sheath was a pale blue with no adornments other than a simple circle with what appeared to be a triangle in it. “Samurai” Saihen reached down and hit the emergency release on the limp boot Pidge made and lifted his foot out of it. He flicked a kunai into his hand ready to fight. “Saihen look I mean you know harm. I swear unless you are the one behind that scream we are not enemies.” Mokuzai held up his hands in surrender. “However if you want to live I need you to hit the deck right this second”

Saihen decided this man was not a threat and dove to the floor. As he did the door erupted into dozens of kunai flying through the air where he just stood. Saihen looked up to warn Mokuzai only to stop mid way. The kunai lay at his feet and his sheath in his hand. He launched himself forword through the door. A few moments later a woman came flying through head first. Clad in black pants and a matching jacket .As she reached the ground she merely pushed off her hand and landed on her feet behind Saihen.  He felt a hand yank him up. Her arm circled his throat and he felt something metal press against his temple. “One more step and your boyfriend here gets a entire clip of kunai through the head”

Mokuzai lowered his sheath slightly “Im sorry Saihen. Idont know what to do here” “Its fine you did well” The womans arm dropped from his throat and Saihen stepped forword and turned to look at her. Her entire body stood rigid her upon her face played a dance of emotions between anger fear and despair. “WHY CANT I MOVE YOU SCUM?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME” Mokuzai stood there with a look of confusion on his face.

Saihen looked her in the eyes. “Who are you and what are you doing here?” “LET ME GO WHY WOULD I TALK TO YOU” Saihen moved the fingers on his left hand and the womans arm started to aim the kunai launcher at her own stomach. “This shot will kill you it wont be fast nor will it be painless you will lay here unable to move as your body fills with its own waste and acid until youlose enough blood. Now I ask again who are you and what are you doing.”

The womans eyes were darting everywhere looking for a way out finding none the rested on saihen. “I am a pirate from the land of the sky. This was supposed to be a easy haul only civilians.” Saihen smirked “Good. Now how many are on this vessal.” She struggled and finding she was still unable to move spat at him “More than you could ever hope to defeat release me and your death will be quick”

Saihen glanced behind him at the still confused samurai. “Mokuzai in about 20 seconds she will be able to move again can you take care of her”

“What? I mean yeah of course.”

“Thank you”

Saihen released his strings from the womans body who instantly fell to her knees her legs exhausted from the struggle. Mokuzai walked over towards her and stood in front of her.

“You came here and tried to attack what you thought was a unarmed civilian with no justification other than your greed. Scum lime you dont deserve life ” he brought up his sheath and swung it down at her head. A crunch resounded through the room.

Mokuzai turned and looked at Saihen “You seem to be full of surprises.”

Saihen nodded “Did you kill her?”

Mokuzai glanced down at the body “She deserves it but for all I know she was born into this and knows nothing else. Im not the judge and executioner. So no shes not dead just a bad concussion.”

Saihen nods “A good choice. Want to go see if we can save an airship?”

Mokuzai looks down at the Go board. “Ill let you off the hook this time but next time we play. Got it?”

“Sure”

The two step outside their room into the hallway. Their footsteps silent as they glide across the floor. Saihen reaches a corner and stops. As he slowly peeks around he can see down the stairs into the main room. Bodies are everywhere kunai planted into their backs. Most of them already stripped of every valuable they have.

He whispers to Mokuzai “Its bad multiple people on the ground already stripped of valuables. At least 10 or so pirates still down there. Armed with those kunai launcher They seem to be gaurding a couple dozen prisoners. Possibly to keep as hostages incase they need them”

Mokuzai seems unperturbed by the news of suck violence. “What do we do? I mean I can fight. And quite well I think but ten on two is a bit much”

“What about ten on three? It wouldnt be for  long at all but I can get us some aid ”

Mokuzai’s forehead and after a moment whispers “Yeah I think I can hamdle that. Besides they seem to rely solely on those guns it will just be getting up close fast enough”

Saihen puts his hand on the shoulder of the samurai. “I know we just met and you know nothing about me but if you trust me we can do this. You could just run and I wouldnt blame you one bit. But these people need to be saved.”

Mokuzai smirks “I thought you would say something like that. After all, saving the down trodden, thats what the Akatsuki does isnt it?”

Saihen felt his jaw drop and before he could act Mokuzai had jumped down the stairs and started running towards the nearest enemy Saihen watched in amazement as the samurai got close to the enemy and before they could even notice him swung the sheath of his sword and with a crack the assailant was falling. Before the body even hit the ground Mokuzai was moving to the next target.

However the sound of the impact had alerted the others who were already leveling the kunai launchers towards his new ally. Saihen spread out his fingers and sent out his chakra strings into the room. The distintive thump sounded as multiple launchers fired and kunai sped through the air at Mokuzai’s back. Wha t they didnt account for was the bodies of rhe civilians they killed flying to intercapt the kunai. Two of the bodies hovered behind Mokuzai absorbing the shots. The samurai was nearly as startled as the hostage takers. A few moments later the hostages themselves noticed them and started screaming.

Saihen smirked to himself. Oraochimaru had always taught him to use what he had at his disposal whether it be smoke bombs or dead bodies. “To achieve one’s goal. One must let go of such thoughts as sacred and fair. Let those notions hinder those who arent as motivated as you Saihen”

With a flick of his fingers the bodies started flying at two of the pirates who started screaming and firing at them. So caught up in their terror that they didnt notice the sheath of a sword swinging at their heads. Saihen moved them towards the next group and the next each time either terrifying them or using his new puppets to grab and strangle them or merely keeping attention until Mokuzai could take them down. In a matter of moments all those holding weapons were incapacitated.

Saihen heard Mokuzai proclaim “You are safe now. Theres no need to be afraid.”

Saihen released the bodies from his employ and calmly walked down the stairs to join them. The second the bodies hit the ground. A young child no more than nine years old ran towords one of the kunai ridden bodies and collapsed beside it. The child wore a kimono that appeared to match the one on the famale body.

“MOMMY” the child screamed “MOMMY WAKE UP AGAIN. YOU WERE JUST HERE. DONT LEAVE ME ALONE AGAIN. I WAS SO SCARED BUT YOURE BACK NOW MOMMY MOMMY WAKE UP. PLEASE MOMMY ILL LISTEN LOOK I EVEN TIED MY KIMONO LIKE YOU WANTED SO IT LOOKS NEAT AND YOULL BE PROUD OF ME.” The childs sobs grew louder and prevented him from talking.

Saihen didnt know what to do. He had saved these people lives yet he felt them started to piece together what he was and felt the animosity growing from the crowd as more caught on to what he had done. He caught Mokuzai’s eyes and saw only sadness. He had done everything right though. Saved the people. Prevented more deaths. These were goals worth acheiving and yet they ones he saved now hated him.

Mokuzai strode over to the sobbing child and placed his sword on the ground “Your mom would be very proud of you for that.” The child looked up tears streaming down his face “She would? Then why wont she wake up again? Why is she ignoring me?”

“She is very tired. These men really hurt your mom so she had to go to sleep for good. But in her heart burned a love so strong for you that even death wouldnt keep her from protecting you.”

“Really? Sh- she  always said she would always be there for me”

“And she will be little one” Mokuzais touched the childs chest. “She will always be in here and that love will always be keeping you safe.”

A booming impact hit the sliding door that leadninto the room from the outside. Causing the samurai to look up at it.

“Now though now you have to go back over to those people over there. They are friends of your mom. Theyll keep you safe. Do you understand?”

The child nodded and ran across the room where an ederly woman held them close.

“You guys better open this door or no pay for any of you!” Roared a voice from the other side. Another impact hit the door with a boom.

Mokuzai came and stood behind Saihen.  “You figure this will be the boss?” Saihen nods “How is he outside?”

“Probably a second ship with a bridge to this one. They need somewhere to put the goods ”

“Well. After we beat him. He wont be needing that ship anymore” the samurai smirked.

“I agree” replied Saihen admittedly a little shocked

KA BOOM the door comes flying of its hinges and in comes the unhelpful mountain. Carrying a spiked club “WHERE ARE YOU FOOLS?” He spat into the room. “Cant you even open a do-” The mans eyes darted around the room taking in the scene. His men all on the ground. And two standing before him looking ready for a fight. “I dont know who you two are but your gonna pay for this”

Mokuzai whispers “Ill keep his attention. You find some crafty way to deal with him yeah?”

With that plan in place mokuzai leaped at the brute. Who swung his club faster than saihen could keep up with catching mukuzai in the ribs and sending him crashing into the ground at hiss feet. He spun the club around and started to send it crashing down

Saihen was already moving before the samurai hit the ground. Sprinting at the brute hoping to catch him off gaurd. He was already using threads to spin the knuckles on his right hand. It didnt have as many options yet since he hadnt had time to set it up but it still had the scrolls Pidge had put on it. He felt static fill the air as the lighting formed at his palm. He reached the brute and spun around behind him. He swung it at the brute’s neck hoping the shock would scramble his central nervous system. Instead what happenend was the brute spun around and punched Saihen in the head causing stars to fill his vision and his knees to crumple. The lightning in his palm fizzled out.

“No handsigns yet a fully functional lightning blade. How interesting.” He grabbed the sleeve of Saihens jacket and tore the sleeve off. Revealing his puppet arm. “Now it makes sense. Let me guess scrolls inbedded in the arm? You got alot of bite for a cripple. And it appears I have some openings in my crew. What do you say? Want to join ?”

Saihen weakly shook his head no.

“Well thats too bad looks like I have to kill you.”

Saihen was still to stunned to move. He dimly saw the club falling. Then Mokuzai was there his arms around him carrying him away before the club could hit. He placed Saihen on the ground and put something in his mouth. It tasted like warm tea. “Wha-” “Its a food pill. Itll give you something to focus on while your head stops rattling. Now quickly do you know how he is so fast? With that giant thing he really shouldnt be.”

“Shinobi..he sends all of his chakra to his legs to spin himself around. Probably cant run fast. Just fast moves” Saihen explained his head feeling better as he got to his feet.

“Mokuzai”

The samurai looked at him. “Yes”

“Was your hair always white?”

The samurai smiled “No.”

Then he picked up his katana and unsheathed the blade. Leveling the dark blue sword at his foe “Its your lucky day my friend”

“Oh?” Rumbled the EXTREMELY unhelpful mountain

“You get to meet the greatest being to ever exsist”

“And who might that be?”

“He goes by many names to many different people.  The destroyer. The bringer of salvation. He who waits for all. But to those that have a personal relationship with him he as but one name ”

“And what is that?”

“Jashin”

With that white tattoos spiraled down the samurais arms as he leaped at the brute once again. The club swung up at him only to be blocked by the sword as Mokuzai shot his fist into his opponents face. Actually knocking him back a bit. The man quickly recovered and swung a fist back at Mokuzai who caught it in his hand like he was grabbing a leaf. He leaped up and using the arm as a support kicked with both his legs launching him back to Saihen.

“So mister akatsuki ready to help?”

Up close the tattos apeared to be dragons wrapped around his arms.

“Yes lets finish him I have a plan”

“Of course you do”

“Can you keep fighting him like this?”

“Not for a extended period of time but for abit longer yes”

“Keep doing that then”

The samurai smirked and leaped back into battle keeping up with his for blow for blow. His sword landing cuts at each opening. His opponent roaring in pain and frustration as he keep trying to fight.

Saihen openend the palm of his right hand and focused his chakra threads through it weaving them together into a ball hanging from a single thread. He gave it a few test swings then waited until Mokuzai blocked the club “HOLD IT” He commanded. The samurai nodded and held the club in place as Saihen leapt into the fight swinging his arm towords the head of the brute. Who easily blocked it with his free hand.

“Really cripple I thought you would learn fast”

Saihen couldn’t keep the smirk off his face. This foe for all his strength and speed was just another idiot.

“Oh I do. And before you die ill give you the honor of knowing my name.”

“And what makes you think ill die”

“Well you blocked my arm. Which was smart dont get me wrong. You saw a fist and you blocked. What you didnt see was rhe ball of chakra threads that were hanging from it and once you blocked my attack the moment of the ball sent it wrapping around your throat and head before  I dispersed the threads all over the back of your body. Even now youll find you cant move. I cant hold you for long admittedly. But I dont need to”

Saihen felt the man trying to move to no avail.

“Who are you?”

Saihen moved the threads causing the man to fall to his hands and knees.

“I am Saihen  of the Akatsuki.”

He steps back knowing from his interactions with hidan what is about to come

“And I am Mokuzai of the Akatsuki” As the samurai swung his blade cleaving head from shoulders and spinning in same motion sheathing his blade.

Saihen looked at him “Of the Akatsuki? You know its a shinobi organization?”

The samurai smiled “It used to be. Besides we have a game of Go to finish and I cant be seen with the head of a criminal organization. I mean unless I too was a member”

“Fair enough”

From outside the heard a amplified voice. “We have received your distress signal this is Mai of the leaf anbu unit we are coming aboard to assist.”

“Shit not again ” Saihen muttered

“Friends of yours?”

“You could say that. Wanna steal a ship?”

“I thought youd never ask”

Saihen ran and picked up a kunai launcher before running across the rope bridge connecting the leaf airship to the sleeker pirate one. He glanced up to see a anbu airship hovering above the leaf ship with anbu sprinting down the side.

Mai was leading them of course. Saihen gestured once they were across the bridge and Mokuzai sliced it detaching the two. The leader of anbu stopped and looked at Saihen “YOU WONT GET AWAY AGAIN”

“Get this ship moving if you would Mokuzai” he commanded. “Of course” the samurai enetered the ship and a few moments later Saihen felt it start to move.

The Anbu leader shouted “OUR SHIP CAN CATCH YOU.YOU SCUM”

Saihen inserted on of his kunai into the launcher “Perhaps”

He fired it up towords the anbu.  It missed them all by dozens of feet.

“YOU MISSED”

“If it had a engine that is”

The tag on the kunai ingnited on impact sending lightning through the engines of the anbu ship.

Saihen turned and walked into his new ship and moved into the control room. Taking a seat beside his new partner. The samurai looked up “Where to?”

Saihen pulled out the map he got from Kaika. And pointed to the spot she had circled. “Here”

The samurai nodded and adjusted the controls. “You got it.”

Saihen relaxed as the ship moved towards the horizon.

“Its a good day Mokuzai”

[barelylivinblog]

Tips From a Virgin Traveler to Other Virgin Travelers

I recently went on my first vacation with my boyfriend and his family, and I decided to be productive about it and use the information I learned from being a virgin traveler to help those who are also going to be future first time travelers. 

My first piece of advice is to take something other than your phone to occupy yourself for your plane ride. I was a first time flyer, and figured that I could just mess around on my phone for three hours. What I didn’t plan for is that when you’re 34,000 feet in the air there’s no cellphone service.

Another thing I figured out from flying for the first time is that I hate flying. I’m sure for the average person it’s not as bad as my mind makes it out to be, but being a first timer has to be scary for anyone. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to be nervous. Just make sure you take something to pass the time and not make the mistake I made where I was stuck listening to soft music and playing solitaire for three and a half hours as we flew from Pittsburgh, PA to Denver, CO.

Secondly, prepare to be in a car. For some reason I was under the impression that after we got off the plane everything would be relatively near by. However, we drove quite a bit to get to our destinations. I was little uneasy at first because our car rides were quiet, but once you learn to appreciate and take in the scenery around you it becomes settling. Even for a fidgety person like myself, the car rides became a lot easier when I learned to sit back and stare out the window.

Thirdly, be reasonable about the amount of snacks you purchase for said car rides and hotels. I accidentally overloaded on snacks early on in fear that I wasn’t going to get the chance to get snacks later. However, I learned that unlike movies about the desert, there will eventually always be a gas station. Hotels usually have gas stations reasonably close by as well, so don’t fear that you’ll go hungry and end up over packed with snacks you won’t be able to finish.

This is also a good time to try new snacks. I found myself in an M&M craze after our hotel offered a bag of peanut ones for free with our room. I ended up purchasing four bags that trip, and I used to not like M&Ms at all. They were convenient for traveling because unlike a regular chocolate bar I didn’t have to worry about them melting. 

In addition to that, don’t get too overwhelmed by the up pricing of restaurants. You don’t have to eat at a bunch of fancy restaurants to have a good time either, so don’t feel the “but we’re on vacation!” pressure. 

Fourth, don’t depend on your sunscreen to last you as long as it says. I think it’s safe to say that it’s better to be prepared for the weather at the expense of having a few more items in your luggage than being shit out of luck. I ended up taking a large bottle of 50 SPF sunscreen with me for most occasions, and the only time I burnt was on my scalp other than the day I decided I wouldn’t need sunscreen when we went white water rafting. I left my sun screen in the car under the impression that we’d be in the water and shaded, but I ended up baking my leg and watched my boyfriend’s friend burn up his knees even though he was consistent on re-applying. So please, take your sunscreen and anything else you might need no matter where you go, because if we hadn’t ended up sharing sunscreen I would have most likely “lobstered”. 

Fifth, never underestimate the amazing qualities of a mini van. Choose your rental car based on comfort and not on looks. I learned this lesson after having judgments about the idea of us roaming around in this silver van for a week, but it ended up being the best idea EVER because it was so roomy and cozy. 

Sixth, learn to take lots and lots of pictures. I was self conscious at first because I didn’t want to look like the stereotypical tourist running around and snapping pictures with my phone everywhere we went. But it’s an easy keep sake to have those photos, and I know you’ll regret not taking enough because you can never take enough to fully display the amazing time you’re having.  My trip crew was well off on taking pictures, so I lucked out with some really great ones to fill my social media pages and have the memories of every thing we did. 

Seventh, and what I believe to be one of the most important things, is to adapt. Not to the environment, but with the people around you. Being on vacation means you’re going to be awfully close to some people for what might seem like a long time. We all have our flaws and our pet peeves, and the stress of traveling might wear us thin sometimes. It’s important to take a deep breathe and have patience. Adapting to each other’s differences will make things run smoother and only bring your trip crew closer. 

Eighth, be nice to the employees you meet along the way. I don’t think we ever ran into any employees at any locations that were in a bad mood. So don’t give them one in return. I did see some other guests being particular with employees, and I think it’s easy to think that they’re just the person making your food or taking your towels, but those people have lives and feelings too. Some of them are most likely not getting paid enough to deal with both their job and your attitude. 

Ninth, Free is Free. Take advantage of it without causing a hassle. You will not believe the amount of makeup remover wipes I swiped from hotel rooms during our trip. It’s not an uncommon thing to most people to take the complimentary toiletries, but I would suggest only taking the things you think you’ll use. I may have taken a shampoo and conditioner bottle from Walt Disney World’s hotel four years ago, and may still haven’t touched them because I have no use for Disney’s hair products. It’s one thing to make use of those items, but don’t let them take up room in your suitcase and house. There’s also that possibility that it could explode during the flight because here’s another side tip: The airport people have no care for your precious luggage. 

Tenth, dress not for looks but for function, or try and do both. I figured out that it’s more important to dress comfortable than cute. Depending on what you’re doing, it might be perfectly fine to strut around in your best outfits. However, don’t try wearing uncomfortable shoes if you’re going to be walking all day. You might be saying in your head how cute those shoes are and you’ll want to dress up for vacation, but it’s not worth it and no one will think less of you for wearing comfortable shoes. I’d like to say I did pretty well with sticking to practicality, but I ended up really liking the outfits I had picked for my trip. It’s much easier to pack when your outfits aren’t complex. For example, packing cute t-shirts and shorts that can go a combinations of ways ended up being a lot less stressful because I didn’t have to worry about not liking something due to the options I had given myself. 

I could keep going on in an endless loop of tips and things I’ve learned from going on my first vacation, but I believe the most important thing is that as a first time traveler you learn your own set of guidelines and knowledge about traveling. I think if you worry too much about what to expect, when the time comes it’ll fly right by you. Take your time to relax, because in the end everything will be fine. You’re on vacation! I also found it important to take a few moments by yourself and take everything in and count your blessings. Vacationing is a privilege not everyone get’s to experience, so take a moment to thank those around you and be thankful in general. 

Exploring is a great activity, and reaching outside your comfort zone is a good practice in moderation. I don’t want to say that I’m a changed person after taking my first trip, but I feel more at ease about the world around me. I met a lot of very nice people and saw a lot of really nice places. Adventure is out there my friends, and I challenge you to go out into it. Do something new, something interesting to you, something that will make you feel things. 

So, finally, my last tip is simple. Go do things.